A letter of apologies from Mr. Alice Cooper (?)

Hey stoopid Sister Sara

Or maybe I should say Hello hooray instead? Whatever is fitting…

I write this letter since you last night were Under my wheels. Obviously I am No more Mr. Nice Guy, I´m a really bad driver and we both know Only women bleed, so if you decide to report me to the authorities, please Feed my Frankenstein. He lives in my basement. And also remember this; I know where you live and I never cry, road kill or not. No matter what I´ll bite your face off.

Ah yes, so very true, you are still alive! Alive to tell the cops, ah yes, but perhaps I can pay you? I have alot of Billion dollar babies, right here, Under the bed along with all the Dead babies. Or maybe you´d prefer som Dirty diamonds? They are also under my bed, wich I never use. I simply Can´t sleep, the clowns will eat me! The same Bed of nails where my dear Cold Ethyl used to Be my lover in. Oh, sweet memories but oh, tonight I´m Burning our bed.

No I am sorry I am getting nostalgic, I am a Wicked young man, a real Wind-up toy indeed. Or maybe it´s one of my Clones? Sorry I´m a little confused, I have been for about Six hours now, probably of the Poison I got from my tame Black Widow. Or maybe of the Snakebite….oh, feeling drowsy, I better call Nurse Rozetta and perhaps get her Salvation.

Anyhow, back to the subject. I am sorry I ran you over but the weather was ugly and all I could see was a Halo of flies when the lights of the car was on. So I simply turned them off! I said to myself, It´s hot tonight, but on the other hand, How you gonna see me now? Actually I must admit, I was so Lost in America I Might as well be on Mars and also, It rained all night. Sure it was a Long way to go but not even The prettiest cop on the block said anything to me and Steven, who laid in pieces in the trunk, about our crappy car and on our way to the Sanctuary down in Dragontown for some Sex, drugs and money. Oh by the way, we tried to Run down the devil but me and my Triggerman, you know Steven, ran over you instead. Oh fun,. fun, fun! Sorry, this time you wasn´t The one that got away but atleast, try to Take it like a woman and don´t weap about it. Atleast I wasn´t driving a 18-wheeler! And yes, i happend to like Sick things and my humor might be a little obscure but hey, It´s me and yes, this is a Brutal planet! Sure, I love the dead and if you don´t like it, you can Go to hell.

I´m not Perfect and I might be a Killer (well not really, I missed you) but i beg of you, Gimme my Freedom. Perhaps Nobody likes me *cough cough* but maybe I can tease you with my Muscle of love? C´mon now, it will be almost like a date. Only closer. Honestly I Wish you were here my sweet Woman of mass distraction. When I Look at you over there, in your wheelchair, I can feel a little Spark in the dark! I start dreaming of You and me, Wrapped in silk and Roses on white lace. Even if you might be a Shadow of yourself with your crutches and bandages, and I have to Pick up the bones from your every meal, I will always think You look good in rags baby. Now this is Only my heart talking but still, I want you to feel Welcome to my nightmare and you should know that You´re my temptation no matter what. You know what they say, that Love´s a loaded gun and talking about size I don´t think you will be dissapointed. You know, It´s the litte things that really counts ehee…

Blargh, who am I kidding? Sorry for trying to sweet talk you like that, all so you would forget to turn me in for running you over. I´m sorry, I really am but You drive me nervous! Now I will take back my Stolen prayer, go back to my Skeletons in the closet in my House of fire and since I´m feeling Dangerous tonight I might as well stop pretending that I would Die for you, Killed by love and stick my middle finger in the air yelling Catch me if you can! Vengeance is mine anyway.

Like a Desperado from the Department of youth I will now walk away, gazing upon My stars, hoping I will get away with running you over with my crappy car. To sneak away into the night, into the Black juju, or else I´ll probably be Hanged byt the law. So I find it safer to sneak away and maybe, just maybe, someday I will be Elected as the president of Generation landslide and make my own laws about running over little old ladies with crappy, oh so crappy cars with no lights on them at all. It would be the quite opposite to Teenage lament since we would roam the streets!

Oh well, sweet Sister Sara, School´s out and Steven is here. Yuppers He´s back, my dear old friend, always the Life and death of the party, he is. Anyway I feel good after writing you this letter, explaining it all. Almost as if I got Cleansed by fire in some way, and I really don´t hope you will see me as some kind of Prince of darkness or something. True, they really should Lock me up but it would be nicer if they bought me a new car. Perhaps a Slick black limousine. Or a Coal black model T.

Say hello to your sisters Mary-Ann and Gail from me. I now gonna leave you, like a Unfinished sweet. I realized Hell is living without you and always will be. That´s all I wanted to say, and ofcourse, I apologize.

Yours sincerely Mr. Vincent Furnier – taking a new drivers test in the morning.

(Thx 4 inspiration Tild)

4 tankar på “A letter of apologies from Mr. Alice Cooper (?)”

  1. Haha alltså, det här är hur bra som helst!
    Fy satan så ambitiöst. Både jag och min frukostsmoothie är klart imponerade.

    Strongt jobbat – finner ju rent lite bortglömda pärlor som jag måste ta och lyssna på igen.

    Bravo! 😀

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